Monday, July 18, 2011

THESE ARE THE CONTINUING VOYAGES OF THE STARSHIP WRECK — ING — HU (PART II)

THESE ARE THE CONTINUING VOYAGES OF THE STARSHIP WRECK — ING — HU (PART II)

Posted on October 23, 2010 by masterkan
THESE ARE THE CONTINUING VOYAGES OF THE STARSHIP WRECK — ING — HU

HULU: Captain: shields at .91%.

CAPTAIN JERK: Mr. Snot. Damage Report.

SNOTTY: Anoothe hit like thaa, Captin, and we’ll lose Warped Drive.

CAPTAIN JERK: Cut off life-support to decks 2, 12 and 13. Reconfigure Turbo-Lift pathways according to pattern W.T.F. Reduce paper products and energy supply to the mens’ bathrooms by 85% and close all bathrooms in the library. Jettison ALL paper towels. Most importantly, reroute my anonymous blog through auxiliary power.

SNOTTY: Aye, Captin.

CAPTAIN JERK: Lieutenant Omanura, contact Kan and ask him what the ‘Guinness Device’ is … where is Lieutenant Omanura?

TICKOFF: She is having a wery ‘bad day,’ Keptin.

HULU: Captain, Kan is attempting to contact us. He says he is aware our shields are down to 1% and that all he really wants from us right now is the Guinness Device. Should I put him ‘on-screen?’

CAPTAIN JERK: No. Finally, I can see through Kan. I can see his weakness: he is thinking only three-dimensionally. If he can’t get the percentage of our shield strength correct, he can’t get anything right. Mr. Schlock, just what is the Guinness Device?

MR. SCHLOCK: In the 21st Century, the Harrisburg University of Science and Technology’s Food Safety Program developed a process whereby molecular structures of liquids could be reorganized on the subatomic level into other liquids of equal mass. However, over time, the matrices proved to be unstable and, thus, the reorganized matter reverted to its original structure ….

CAPTAIN JERK: You mean ….

MR. SCHLOCK: Yes. Initially one experiences the classic inebriating effect, but before the calories can be digested the unstable matrix reforms the beer into water thus eliminating both the caloric value and the ‘hang-over’ effect.

DR. MCGOO: You green-blooded, humorless microbial containment-sack. You’ve been holding out on us!

MR. SCHLOCK: On the contrary, Doctor. Of course, existence of the Device is known on Vulcan and the 1st and 14th decks. Logically, private schools such as the schools on Vulcan permit a superior student-teacher ratio and encourage students to explore, in a positive way, more than the mere basics ….

DR. MCGOO: Logic? He’s talking about ‘logic’ when all along we’ve been sitting on a gusher of beer! Liquid-gold. Pennsylvania-tea. Myth has it that the Earth was created in six days. Now we can create oceans of beer in six minutes! Of course, as fate would have it, Kan now intends to deprive us of this fountain of youth and, instead, create a professional environment where we will have to set and successfully accomplish goals. Give me the Klingons any day!

HULU: Captain, Kan is arming phasers.

CAPTAIN JERK: Mr. Hulu, fire-up my anonymous blog.

[TO BE CONTINUED.]

Monday, September 6, 2010

hypocritical 663.hyp.00554 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire

The Man Bitten By a Dog

A Man who had been bitten by a Dog went about in quest of someone who might heal him. A friend, meeting him and learning what he wanted, said, "If you would be cured, take a piece of bread, and dip it in the blood from your wound, and go and give it to the Dog that bit you." The Man who had been bitten laughed at this advice and said, "Why? If I should do so, it would be as if I should beg every Dog in the town to bite me."

Benefits bestowed upon the evil-disposed increase their means of injuring you.

The Two Pots

A river carried down in its stream two Pots, one made of earthenware and the other of brass. The Earthen Pot said to the Brass Pot, "Pray keep at a distance and do not come near me, for if you touch me ever so slightly, I shall be broken in pieces, and besides, I by no means wish to come near you."

Equals make the best friends.

The Wolf and the Sheep

A Wolf, sorely wounded and bitten by dogs, lay sick and maimed in his lair. Being in want of food, he called to a Sheep who was passing, and asked him to fetch some water from a stream flowing close beside him. "For," he said, "if you will bring me drink, I will find means to provide myself with meat." "Yes," said the Sheep, "if I should bring you the draught, you would doubtless make me provide the meat also."

Hypocritical speeches are easily seen through.

The Aethiop

The purchaser of a black servant was persuaded that the color of his skin arose from dirt contracted through the neglect of his former masters. On bringing him home he resorted to every means of cleaning, and subjected the man to incessant scrubbings. The servant caught a severe cold, but he never changed his color or complexion.

What's bred in the bone will stick to the flesh.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

house 992.cou.00200200 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire

Soon afterwards one of his own slaves murdered the city-prefect, Pedanius Secundus, either because he had been refused his freedom, for which he had made a bargain, or in the jealousy of a love in which he could not brook his master's rivalry. Ancient custom required that the whole slave-establishment which had dwelt under the same roof should be dragged to execution, when a sudden gathering of the populace, which was for saving so many innocent lives, brought matters to actual insurrection. Even in the Senate there was a strong feeling on the part of those who shrank from extreme rigour, though the majority were opposed to any innovation. Of these, Caius Cassius, in giving his vote, argued to the following effect:-

"Often have I been present, Senators, in this assembly when new decrees were demanded from us contrary to the customs and laws of our ancestors, and I have refrained from opposition, not because I doubted but that in all matters the arrangements of the past were better and fairer and that all changes were for the worse, but that I might not seem to be exalting my own profession out of an excessive partiality for ancient precedent. At the same time I thought that any influence I possess ought not to be destroyed by incessant protests, wishing that it might remain unimpaired, should the State ever need my counsels. To-day this has come to pass, since an ex-consul has been murdered in his house by the treachery of slaves, which not one hindered or divulged, though the Senate's decree, which threatens the entire slave-establishment with execution, has been till now unshaken. Vote impunity, in heaven's name, and then who will be protected by his rank, when the prefecture of the capital has been of no avail to its holder? Who will be kept safe by the number of his slaves when four hundred have not protected Pedanius Secundus? Which of us will be rescued by his domestics, who, even with the dread of punishment before them, regard not our dangers? Was the murderer, as some do not blush to pretend, avenging his wrongs because he had bargained about money from his father or because a family-slave was taken from him? Let us actually decide that the master was justly slain.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

title 82.titl.003 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire

The title of the chapter has particular resonance in the Soviet Union, where talking to strangers could get one into trouble with the secret police. Few foreigners visited, and those who did were required to register with the authorities, stay in special hotels, and they were watched very closely.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

situation 552.sit.61 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire

If the Tsarist Russian state was very bureaucratic, the Soviet State was even more so. Stalin capitalized on the Russians' traditional view of language and signs in general (be they icons or political posters) as primary. Language (the document) determines reality, and not vice versa. This situation has a host of corollaries. Lacking a document means that one does not exist in some important sense. Anyone who was arrested and executed, particularly if he was an "enemy of the people," could become a nonperson. His existence could be expunged from the record. Photographs were retouched to show the new reality (see the new book The Commissar Vanishes, by David King). Names were changed: when Trotsky became an "enemy of the people" anyone with that surname could become a victim; many changed their names (this in spite of the fact that "Trotsky" was itself the Revolutionary name of Lev Bernshtein, so anyone with the real surname was not a relative!). When Beria, head of the NKVD, fell into disfavor, the B volume of the Soviet Encyclopedia had already come out. Subscribers were sent an expanded page on the Bering Straights and instructed to paste it in over the article praising Beria. The enemy ceased to exist!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

important 332.09 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire

3. What makes Timothy Good so credible as a researcher?

First, it is important to define credible --

cred·i·ble : offering reasonable grounds for being believed From www.merriam-webster


As a threshold matters, Mr. Good does not come across as a crank, obviously he is well educated and well spoken, and held a job for 20 years that is very competitive to secure: he worked as a professional violinist. Other factors that, in my opinion, add to his credibility are –

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

rodham 332.rod.003 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire

Hillary Rodham Clinton arrived at the White House after serving as First Lady of Arkansas for twelve years. During that time she worked as a full-time partner of a law firm, chaired an education committee that set public school standards in Arkansas, managed a home, and cared for her husband and child. On many occasions, Hillary Clinton has spoken about the need to find the right balance in our lives. For her, the elements of that balance are family, work, and public service.

Hillary Diane Rodham was born in Chicago, Illinois, on October 26, 1947, daughter of Hugh and Dorothy Rodham. She and her younger two brothers grew up in Park Ridge, Illinois, as a close-knit family. An excellent student, she was also a Girl Scout and a member of the local Methodist youth group. Hillary also enjoyed sports and was always interested in politics.

She entered Wellesley College in 1965. Graduating with high honors, she moved on to Yale Law School, where she served on the Board of Editors of the Yale Review of Law and Social Action. While at Yale, she developed her special concern for protecting the best interests of children and their families. It was there that she met Bill Clinton, a fellow student.

In 1973, Hillary became a staff attorney for the Children's Defense Fund. A year later she was recruited by the Impeachment Inquiry staff of the Judiciary Committee of the U.S. House of Representatives to work on the Watergate Impeachment proceedings.